Friday, August 24, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Something I wrote in '10 I believe
I dont write much but I thought I would post something here for my young readers if I have any. I wrote this at a time of enlightment in my life when I was realizing it was time to let things go.
On a journey....
Called “Road to happiness”
For so long I suppressed alot of my feeling towards people and events in my life because I always felt I had to be put together and be this perfect person. There were so many nights I locked myself in the bathroom crying because it was just so much pressure so much confusion ,so much hate ,and guilt. Half the time I didnt know what I was doing I just knew I was breathing and waking up. I was just existing.I hated relationships(love) and sex because to do those you had to be completely open free and naked. All of which things I didnt want to do and wasnt ready to do.
Anyway countless walks alone, many drunken nights ,self harm, plenty of anxiety attacks, meditation, and plenty of self questioning have brought me to many realizations of life and life for myself.
1)Dont feed into the crowd do what YOU like. I like reading ,singing , writing and school .I dont need to be at a club or at someones bar. If thats what you like then thats awesome but as for ME ,I will stay at home or else where
2)forgive everyone . Ive had people I once called friend, fuck me over and I always wondered why and what not and than my mom and dad always were in there own little world so I never really had anyone and that angered me but Im trying to forgive and let go. An so far Im happier than I have ever been.
3) Meditation. It helps alot. We as humans think entirely too much and with meditation no matter for 5mins or til a hr. That’s 5 mins pure bliss of no thinking. Just a relaxation of your mind .
4) Sex IS overrated. Granted I like it with the bf but simulation of the mind is way more important to me. If your sex game is all you have to offer along with your looks? Please reevaluate your situation and yourself .
5)Never need always want but never too much . I dont need certain things in life especially tons of money ,weaves,cars,and all other frivolous things . I wont do any and everything to get it nor will I stress out over it. Its not worth it .
I have many more too add and Im still on my journey but Im noticing the hardest thing is to let go of certain things and it holds me back because its the root of all my faults but thats another post for another day.
I know that this is a hair blog but just always remember hair isnt worth it.Hair it isnt every thing, spend your money on bills and and things that you need than worry about the rest.Also things happen in time.My friend and I used to work at krogers making alittle under or over 10000/year and now I work at a call center making alittle bit over 32000/year and Im also now have a second job.My friend got a new job a different call center making about the same thing. It took a total of 547 days lol for us to get a job from the day we started wishing but we searched everyday and than one day it happened. Dont give up I know these are hard times but there is something out there for you it will come with time.
On a journey....
Called “Road to happiness”
For so long I suppressed alot of my feeling towards people and events in my life because I always felt I had to be put together and be this perfect person. There were so many nights I locked myself in the bathroom crying because it was just so much pressure so much confusion ,so much hate ,and guilt. Half the time I didnt know what I was doing I just knew I was breathing and waking up. I was just existing.I hated relationships(love) and sex because to do those you had to be completely open free and naked. All of which things I didnt want to do and wasnt ready to do.
Anyway countless walks alone, many drunken nights ,self harm, plenty of anxiety attacks, meditation, and plenty of self questioning have brought me to many realizations of life and life for myself.
1)Dont feed into the crowd do what YOU like. I like reading ,singing , writing and school .I dont need to be at a club or at someones bar. If thats what you like then thats awesome but as for ME ,I will stay at home or else where
2)forgive everyone . Ive had people I once called friend, fuck me over and I always wondered why and what not and than my mom and dad always were in there own little world so I never really had anyone and that angered me but Im trying to forgive and let go. An so far Im happier than I have ever been.
3) Meditation. It helps alot. We as humans think entirely too much and with meditation no matter for 5mins or til a hr. That’s 5 mins pure bliss of no thinking. Just a relaxation of your mind .
4) Sex IS overrated. Granted I like it with the bf but simulation of the mind is way more important to me. If your sex game is all you have to offer along with your looks? Please reevaluate your situation and yourself .
5)Never need always want but never too much . I dont need certain things in life especially tons of money ,weaves,cars,and all other frivolous things . I wont do any and everything to get it nor will I stress out over it. Its not worth it .
I have many more too add and Im still on my journey but Im noticing the hardest thing is to let go of certain things and it holds me back because its the root of all my faults but thats another post for another day.
I know that this is a hair blog but just always remember hair isnt worth it.Hair it isnt every thing, spend your money on bills and and things that you need than worry about the rest.Also things happen in time.My friend and I used to work at krogers making alittle under or over 10000/year and now I work at a call center making alittle bit over 32000/year and Im also now have a second job.My friend got a new job a different call center making about the same thing. It took a total of 547 days lol for us to get a job from the day we started wishing but we searched everyday and than one day it happened. Dont give up I know these are hard times but there is something out there for you it will come with time.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
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